(Shithole mountain town in Pakistan) Over the weekend the most wanted man in the world, Osama Bin Laden, reached out to the western press by sitting down with Fox News Channel’s Sean Hannity.

Visibly exhausted, Osama said that the new Obama administration had forced him to speak out.

“I just want to say that I'm tired of being called Obama. People have been mixing up our names for almost two years now, and it's got to stop. It's outrageous, insulting and depressing. I mean, here I go through the trouble of trying to kill every one of you American infidels, just so that I can be confused with your infidel leader.....It's horrible.”

Hannity said that he felt for Osama. “Here’s a guy that’s killed over 3000 of my fellow citizens, a guy I’d love to kill with my strong Irish hands. But he had a point. I wouldn’t want to be called Obama either.”

Osama’s closest friends say the Obama thing has really started to take its toll on Osama. “He doesn’t laugh anymore,” said Massoud Al-Hari, Bin Laden’s childhood friend. “Take yesterday. We stoned a girl for showing her knee. Normally it’s a real yuck fest, but Osama didn’t crack a smile.”

“I’m afraid he might do something crazy,” said Ayman al-Zawahiri, Osama’s number two man.

Osama insisted that he would not do anything crazy, like strap a bomb to himself. In fact, he said that he had a peaceful solution to the Obama crisis. “All your president has to do is change his name to something more terrorist friendly like Rumsfeld, Cheney or Bush, and I’ll call off the jihad....What do you say?”

President Obama said no. "I will not negotiate with terrorists."

Sean Hannity thinks the President is making a mistake. “This is a chance to end the war on terror Mr. President. So, I call on you to resign and let a real American, like Rush Limbaugh, take over.”