(Palm Beach, FL) Taking a break from his taking a break, God, The Almighty, held a short press conference over the weekend where he apologized to the world for the whole Muslim/Islam 'thing'.  

"Look, this isn't easy for me to say, but I made a goof, a blunder, a mistake," said the mighty Creator.  "Honestly, I never thought Islam would, 1) last this long and 2) cause as much trouble as it has. It was just supposed to be a hundred year fad, a way for the Arabs to have their own empire for a little while. Though you might not realize it, because none of you think history is important enough to learn, I've tried to spread the world's empires...around the world. But I digress. Really, I just wanted to say I was sorry. Thanks."

Reactions from religious and political leaders around the world are pouring in.

"I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW IT!" said Pope Benedict XVI. "I knew they were all full of...you know what."

"This is a lie. A lie perpetrated by the American swine propaganda machine," said Al Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden. "Allah would never, ever disown us or be caught dead in Palm Beach."

"Well, that wasn't Allah talking buddy," said U.S. President George W. Bush. "That was the Lord your God, Jesus H. Christ, and you better listen."

The world's Muslims are not listening to President Bush; they are uniting in their rejection of what they see as the Western God's apology. They're claiming that they are the one true religion of peace and prosperity and vow to kill every non-Muslim to prove it. But it's a certainty that the non-Muslims will fight back. Now again, the world seems to be inching towards another World War. Is this what God really wanted?

"Are you stupid?" asked God, earlier today from his cell phone. "Does anybody remember a little thing called The Ten Commandments? Thou Shall Not Kill? That applies to everyone. As does The Golden Rule and any other time I've basically said, Live And Let Live....Man, I told Mohammed that his religion would not be compatible with the 21st Century. But maybe it wasn't just his religion; maybe it's the whole religion thing that's the real problem... I don't know. Do I really need to be worshipped?.....Maybe I should try something different with my second planet....So let me revise my apology. I not only apologize for the Muslim thing, but for all the religious stuff and everything else that I goofed on. I promise to try better this time and next time. But in my defense, it's not easy to create and run a planet. It isn't like there's a manual to follow...Maybe I should write one...Anyway, I'm about to go through a canyon, so thanks for listening...I feel so much better."