This note was written on April 5, 1873 by Lyn Greenfeld to her friend Prudence Forrester.

Dear Prudence,

I told you that I would write, and I am. You already now what this letter is about, but I truly need your help to open a girl's school for the facially challenged. It's imperative that the next generation of uglies have the head start I never did. In today's world, they'll need to be prepared and willing to stand up and say, "I love my butterface!"

Now, I can just see you scowl Prudence, but with your help dear friend, I can show these ugly ducklings what an opportunity being less than beautiful really is. I consider my butterface a real Godsend. Look, the world did not open itself up to me (and it won't for my students) like it does for the pretty girls. I was forced to work hard for what I wanted. That's how I developed the social, business, musical (I am a concert pianist in case you forgot) and erotic skills that more than make up for this less than perfect grill.

There are so many reasons to love my butterface! Like for instance, if a woman has a beautiful face, they can't go into the sun. That's no fun. And there is a lot of maintenance that goes along with a pretty face, all the creams and lotions, not to mention all the time it takes to apply them. But I don't have to bother with any of that. This face ain't getting any better, so why try? Not having to deal with the up-keep leaves me time to do something productive, like know who's running our government. (Idiots, by the way)

So what do you think Pru? Are you in? We need to act and act fast because this culture is becoming more beauty obsessed by the second. There is no time to lose. The ugly ducklings of this country and world are counting on us. We can do this. We can show them that this world is really theirs for the taking. I've got to go now. I'm going hot-air ballooning.

Yours truly, Lyn

Prudence answered YES, and the next fall THE LYN GREENFELD SCHOOL FOR THE FACIALLY CHALLENGED opened and provided the education for hundreds of butterfaced girls. Their most famous student? Eleanor Roosevelt.