(Washington D.C.) It seems the Dollar has been THE standard currency on the planet for, forever, but like the consequence free drunk driving of the 1970’s and the inspiring stage shows of Winger, everything good must come to an end.

What does that mean to normal Americans? It means they are going to have to change the way they pay for a good Boston Pancake, because as of this weak hookers in Washington D. C. are only accepting Euros.

“It’s depressing,” said Henry Paulson, the United States Treasury Secretary, “and dangerous, because if hookers all over the country start taking Euros, there goes this country’s Boston Pancake, Angry Dragon and Blumpkin markets.”

How did this happen?

“It all started with Jay-Z using Euros in the video for his hit Blue Magic,” said former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan. “I thought he was just poking fun, but paying a 100 Euros, which is almost 170 Dollars right now, for a quick Space Docking is not fun.”

“First of all no matter what the john pays, a Space Docking is always fun. It’s my job to make it fun. And I take my job and my pay seriously,” said D.C. hooker Ginger. “So if I’m going to give a Strawberry Shortcake to the Senator from the great state of  let’s say Idaho, then I deserve to be paid with a currency that’s worth something.”

The current Fed chairman Ben Bernanke agrees that Ginger deserves to be paid with a currency that has value. “But it’s vital to our economy that our sex workers take Dollars. You see, we rate the economy’s performance on the cost of oil, unemployment and the price of a Strawberry Shortcake. So if one of those sectors takes a nosedive, it’s recession city.”

Ginger and the other girls don’t want a recession. So they’re offering a deal. “If Bernanke can lower inflation and help Secretary Paulson to create a trade surplus, we’ll start taking Dollars again,” said Ginger. “And we’ll also throw in a free Dirty Gas Pump.”

But Bernanke's goal of preventing a recession may have just moved out of reach, because as of today The Tooth Fairy will also be switching to Euros.