(Madison, WI) 36 year-old Danny Dennis has a new lease on life. “I love my wife again!” screamed Danny while buying some strawberry flavored condoms. “There’s something different about Donna, something better, something that I can’t exactly put my finger on, but whatever it is...I like it.”

Friends and family say that what Danny can’t put his finger on is that Donna has lost 35 pounds. “He’s in love with her flat stomach and tight buns,” said Donna’s sister Darla.

“No, no, no. I don’t think that’s it at all,” said Danny while picking up a Polaroid camera. “It’s something else. Donna’s done something to make herself more likable, more valuable, more worthy of my love.”

“Yea, and I’m telling you what I’ve been telling Danny. Donna is more likable, valuable and worthy because she’s f-ing hot,” said David Dreyer, Darla’s husband. “I’ve been trying to get Darla to make herself more worthy, but she won’t stop with the Häagen-Dazs. She just gives me some crap about how I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Maybe she’s right, but what’s wrong with having a f-ing hot book cover?”

Danny says he’s not into books or book covers just his wife. “About three times a day, if you know what I mean,” added Danny while picking up a fresh tube of Astroglide. “And I don’t want to hear all this nonsense about Donna’s supposed weight loss. All I know is that it’s a lot easier now to look at my wife than it was six months ago.”

Despite all the talk from David and Darla, Donna Dennis doesn’t care why Danny can’t seem to get off of her. “All I know is that we’re having more sex and better sex than we’ve had in years.”

“Well the Viagra I'm taking doesn’t hurt that,” said Danny from his doctor’s office.

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” said Donna before going to the gym. “There’s just something that’s making his penis harder and letting him screw me longer. I guess it’s just a mystery, and that’s okay. Life’s supposed to be full of mysteries, right?”