(New York, NY) Last Sunday at 4:13 PM Jim Decker updated his Facebook status…Just walked past pizza place…Just ten minutes later at 4:23, that same afternoon, Decker’s Facebook account was cancelled.

Why?

“Mr. Decker was booted because of TLI (Too Little Information),” said Facebook’s Director of Membership Matt Portnoy. “He had been warned to provide more details in his status updates and comments. He didn’t. So he’s gone.”

Gregory Harris, a Sociology Professor at Hunter College and an expert on social networking web sites, is not surprised by Facebook’s actions. “Facebook is built around TMI (Too Much Information). And that means lots and lots of details. For example let’s take Mr. Decker’s final status update…Just walked past pizza place…It’s just plain horrible. It tells the reader nothing. What Facebook wants is a post like this…Just walked by Ray’s Famous Original Pizza at 71 Lexington Avenue. It’s a nice place with clean tables and giant slices. Ray and his wife Maria have run the place for 20 years. They have two boys, both lawyers, a house in Queens and an active sex life (at least twice a week)…If Mr. Decker was able to write a status like that, he’d still be on Facebook.”

Decker admits professor Harris has a point, but added that there was a reason his status updates and comment posts were so vanilla. “I was trying to maintain a bit of privacy for myself and others.”

“Privacy? Did he say privacy? I have news for Jim Decker. Privacy is dead,” said Portnoy. “If Mr. Decker wants privacy, then I’d advise him to hop in a time machine and go back and stop Al Gore from inventing the Internet....that was just a sarcastic joke, because I need the Internet, for my job.”

One of Decker’s real friends, Jack Sellers, thinks people need to lay off of his buddy, because being incompatible with Facebook is not a crime. “Before he joined, I told Jim that Facebook was life a nude beach. And for a nude beach to work, everybody has to be naked...Jim didn’t want to be naked.”

Decker thinks Jack has it right. “I didn’t want my virtual penis hanging out. Maybe some day I will, but for now, I’m going to keep myself zipped up and offline.”