(A Cave In Pakistan) Osama Bin Laden couldn’t have been happier last night as he watched former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and Alaska Governor Sarah Palin rip into Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama and his running mate Joe Biden.

“The Republicans accomplished two things last night. They fired up their own base, and they fired up our base,” said the gleeful leader of Al Qaeda. “We raised 20 million Euros in one night...that's a record!”

Bin Laden and his number two Ayman Al-Zawahiri, both wearing MCCAIN 08 t-shirts, explained that the current Republican ticket is exactly what they want. “Heck, it’s exactly what we need,” said Al-Zawahiri. “A President McCain will give us the time, which we could so use, to further rebuild our network...because as Commander-in-Chief he’ll keep the American army in Iraq and Iran.”

“For us, everything is just falling into place,” added Bin Laden. “The picking of a woman as a running mate and the war (against terrorism) rhetoric of all the speeches was just pitch perfect. We couldn’t have scripted it any better.”

Al-Zawahiri thinks that as the McCain/Palin war mongering continues, the donations will pour into Al Qaeda. “We’ve got a lot of rich friends in Saudi Arabia. But in reality the biggest donors we have are the American people. It’s true. With all the billions they spend on foreign oil, they create most of problems that distract their leaders from coming after us. Obama knows that, but lucky for us McCain just doesn’t get it.”

“So to sum it up, McCain in the White House will mean more of the same,’ added Bin Laden. “And that’s the kind of change we can believe in.”