(New Orleans, LA) This morning from New Orleans, where his presidential campaign began and ended, former Senator John Edwards held a press conference, where he stated emphatically that he was not the father of Governor Sarah Palin’s future grandkid.

“Look folks, the internet rumors are not true. It’s not my baby,” said Edwards while running his hair through his $400 coif. “I’ve never met Governor Palin’s daughter, in person.”

However, Edwards added that he had met Bristol Palin in a chat room. “We were talking about the two Americas…And not the two Americas, where I’m married in one and single in the other…the real rich, poor Americas.”

A Palin spokesman, sporting a fresh Moose pelt, confirmed the brief meeting between Edwards and the younger Palin. “For once, he’s telling the truth. The exchange between them was digital not fluid.”

“Right, we just talked or typed,” said Edwards in response. “Look, Bristol is a very nice girl and I wish her all the luck in the world. And to tell the truth, she’s not my type…but her mother? Now, she’s one hot GILF.”

Edwards then asked the media to leave him and his family alone. “You’re just causing trouble. And it’s not your job to cause trouble for my family…that’s my job.”