Couple Goes Green By Recycling Their Marriage Vows

(Portland, OR) Tory and Victor Harris are as green as you can get. They own two hybrids, use solar energy to power their house and recycle more than most.

“Hell, we recycle more than anyone! We recycle everything we use including our fingernails, shower water and sewage. We're so green, we make Ed Begley Jr. look like Dick Cheney,” said Victor.

This weekend Victor and Tory are celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary. And they’re using the event as an opportunity to go even greener, “We’re going to get married again and recycle our vows,” beamed Tory.

“You bet your ass we are.” added Victor. “We have friends who have decided to renew their vows. And because of the word ‘renew’ they got new vows and just threw out their perfectly good old vows…That is so goddam wasteful!”

“It’s more than that. It’s just plain crazy,” added Tory. “And not a good example to set for the next generation."

Besides recycling their vows, the Harris' plan to recycle their entire first wedding: Tory's dress, Victor’s tux, the guests, the cake, the wine and the band, who was The Band.  "Robbie (Robertson) is my second cousin,” said Tory. "He also recycles his fingernails."

Environmentalists applaud Tory and Victor for their dedication, and hope that they become the rule of conservation and not the exception.....except for the recycling of their sewage, because that's gross.