20th Century Found To Be Good For Whites!
Friday, June 27, 2008 at 09:56AM 
(New York, NY) Historians at the Museum of Natural History have finally completed their analysis of the 20th Century. To their surprise, they found that the big winners were white people.
"For some reason, which we will uncover in our next study, white people just seemed to benefit more from the events of the 20th Century that off-white people," said lead researcher Hunter Bookman.
The museum's other researchers: Melvin Bates, Ira Dempsey and John "Whitey" Smith were all stunned by their findings. "I thought the blacks did very well with inventing jazz, rock-n-roll, rap music and taking over professional sports; but I guess that pesky segregation thing made it a wash," said Whitey Smith.
Dempsey added that despite all the success whites had in the last hundred years, it's important to understand that they did not have a cakewalk.
According to the research whites had there fair share of problems: like the theft of their green thumb by the Hispanics, wide-spread literacy, increased health care, accessibility to knowledge, human rights, the Kennedys, the ACLU and The United Nations.
"But instead of rolling over, whites pulled together and pushed through the tough times to create successes like ice hockey, adult contemporary music and NASCAR," said Bates.
The 21st Century is barely off the ground. And it could be anybody's game. "The Chinese are looking very strong. And it's possible the United States could have an African American president" said Bookman. "But if I may be so bold, don't count out the whites. They're smarter than they look."
Other centuries that have been found to favor whites; Centuries 1 through 19.
Reader Comments (4)
well one can look at the past with wishful thoughts, today ---us whites here in southern california, we pepper our talk with key words, like "Si", "ola", and expressions like, "--your the MAN", and we stay out of alot of the neighborhoods we might have once roamed---now no longer good for a "white" to be loitering there---English is no longer taught in schools, illigal aliens have more welfare rights than born here natives-----and one only has to see the parade of political candidates repeatedly coming here to southern california for more monies to know its over---say goodnight America----it was grand while it lasted
Hey, I for one am ready for a change in this century. Anyway I can become non-white?
I thought I was going to tear you a new waste ejection port when I read the title as a person of color. I got to me admit you made me laugh un-controllably! great piece of news!
Well done sir. Have you seen Stuff White People Like??
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
I'm certain everyone has, but you'd get a kick out of it...