Psychiatrist Says Mumbai Gunman Were Not Just Terrorists But Giant A-Holes
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 11:23PM 
(Palo Alto, CA) Last week when gunman attacked innocent people in Mumbai, India the world called them terrorists, but one psychiatrist in California had a different term in mind.
“Assholes,” said Dr. Neil Duggan, a research psychiatrist at Stanford University.
No disrespect to the doctor, but isn’t it just assumed that anyone who would walk into a public place and shoot people is an asshole?
“Yes," said Duggan. "But these guys were not just assholes. They were giant assholes.”
Duggan went on to give examples of the terrorist’s giant asshole-dom. “They kicked a three-legged dog before their attack. Inside the hotels, they drank all the OJ the hotels had and put the empty bottles back into the fridge, they opened and emptied out all the mini-bars, they butt-holed guests’ toothbrushes and they left floaters in toilets.”
“All these actions plus the killing of innocent people are the trademarks of giant assholes,” added the good doctor. “Which is why my research is so important.”
Duggan’s research, his life's work, is trying to find the giant asshole gene. “If I can find it, we as a society will be able to pluck these giant assholes out of the population like needles out of a haystack before they have a chance to prick anyone.”
Dr. Duggan started to explain more about his research but had to leave in order to take a phone call from Mumbai.
He returned a few minutes later his face damp with sweat. “I just got word that those terrorists giant assholes also upperdecked a bunch of toilets….I’m sorry but I gotta get to the lab and find that giant asshole gene. There’s no time to waste.”
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Reader Comments (1)
Butt-holed? Hmm, I've never heard it put that wait. Kudos, Palo Alto.