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    « As World Economy Tanks, Hell Dreads Arrival Of The Newly Damned | Main | Reba And Others Tell Palin, “Stop Stealing Our Act!” »
    Thursday
    09Oct

    Cock Ring Looks For Second Career

    (Van Nuys, CA) The collapse of the economy is hitting Wall Street, Main Street and every street in between. No one knows that more that Kyle, an old cock ring, who was recently let go from his cock hugging job of seven years.

    "I don't know what I'm going to do," said Kyle. "I have no home that I own, no real savings and no cock."

    Kyle's not alone, besides all the people at Lehman Brothers, GM and eBay, thousands of old cock rings, love beads and furry love cuffs have been given their walking papers.

    "It’s bad, real bad. People are running out of money," said Kyle. "After seven years, my grip was slipping and Joe (The guy with the cock I worked with.) didn’t have the money to tighten me. Instead, he outsourced me with a cheaper Japanese model called the Tokyo Terror. This is the ugly side of a flat world."

    So what's an old and loose cock ring to do?

    "I'm going to find a new job. What choice do I have?" said Kyle, while looking at the want ads. "I think I've had it with the cock ring business. Besides, there are lots of things I can do. I could work in plumbing, I could hang on a wall as a piece of art or I could be a toy for children...I have options."

    After a week, we went back to check on Kyle's options, but found him doing something very familiar.

    "I know what you're thinking. What about the plumbing, the art, the kids? I thought about it, but I'm a cock ring. I was made to being around cocks. It's what I do, and I have no regrets. Plus, my new employer, Phil, is a real nice guy. He tightened and cleaned me up like new. In today’s unstable world, I couldn't ask for anything more….Was that a car door closing? If so, Phil's wife is home, and it’s time to go to work."

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    Reader Comments (3)

    I couldn't stop laughing at this one -- great entry!

    October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNeedlessToSay

    Brilliant. Funny. Offensive. I love it. :)

    October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChelle B.

    awwww. poor lil cock ring. maybe he should consider selling himself on ebanned.net. just a suggestion. From what i hear people sell a lot of freaky things there like USED PANTIES :) from what i hear of course http://www.ebanned.net/cgi-bin/auction/auction.cgi?action=showme&user=Heaven_scent

    October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPrincess Lauren

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