Friday
Oct172008
Sarah Palin Is Right, I Do Not Need The Right To Choose
Friday, October 17, 2008 at 12:27PM 
Louise McCreaWomen of America. We need to have a chat.
Like almost every one of you, I have been listening to maverick Sarah Palin and her straight talk for almost two months. And let me tell you with all the sincerity I have available to me at this moment. What Sarah Palin has to say makes a lot of sense, a lot of sense.
I do not need the right to choose. I don’t. She’s right. The government should decide what I can or cannot do with my vagina. Because frankly ladies, I cannot not be trusted with it. It’s true. I cannot keep my legs closed for anyone with a penis and a pulse. I am a whore.
And why am I such a whore? Because I have a choice: I have a choice to keep my vagina open all night (just like Wendy's), I have a choice to flush any unwanted surprise, that threatens to close down my vagina, down the drain and I have a choice to repeat this behavior over and over and over. I am caught in a vicious cycle of choice that will never be broken until I am relieved of the burden of that choice.
Are you hearing me on main street sisters?
Don’t you see that if Sarah Palin has taught us anything, it’s that choice is bad. It was bad for her teenage daughter, and it’s bad for us. I feel that we must return to a simpler time, when choice was not a choice, when our vaginas had a clear-cut purpose - creating new soldiers to hunt down the bad guys who pal around with terrorists, regardless of our “health”, which could mean anything.
So join me in helping elect Sarah Palin and her dad, so that they can reform America and put Uncle Sam back in our panties, where he belongs. Thank you for giving me your time. God bless you and God bless America.
Reader Comments (40)
Louise,
judging from the amount of Jim Beam in your...'glass', and the admitted problems with your legs, I would have to ask just one question: "Are you free next Friday night, say 8 pm?".
We could see a movie, or go to Denny's or just grab a coke somewhere.
Personaly, as a proud American Red-Blooded Male, I would definately support Senator McCain if that is all it would take to get into your pants.Whatever.
You have my vote!
-an admirer
It's hard to judge your tone in this (never read your writing until now) but I have to sincerely agree. It's gotten too simple to take the easy way out. Abortion, welfare, divorce. All of it needs to go.
Girl, I hear you. It's so nice the republicans want to make it illegal to do things they don't like. I was surprised when Sarah said she tolerates gay people. Honestly I don't want to put that burden on her poor soul! I hope when she gets in office she'll make a law that everyone has to be straight. That way people like me will stop choosing to be gay and forcing her to tolerate my sinful ways. Without all that pesky choice, we can finally have the freedom to do exactly as we're told!
Y'know, I think you're missing the point there, Alyx.
I agree with Alyx, because it's too easy to just be rid of your pregnancy after you are raped. Why let those 14 year olds who were impregnated by their fathers take the easy way out like always? Palin agrees with me on that, they shouldn't be able to skip out on the 9 months of pregnancy, we're americans and we can't let that happen.
Oh and Welfare, don't get me started on that. Just because someone happened to lose their job at the same time that their kids need braces and they have to have surgery doesn't mean they should be able to ask the government for a little help so they can continue to be functioning members of society with homes. I mean, the rest of us who have never had bad luck don't need the easy way out, why should they?
Divorce! I completely agree with you. I mean, those women who get beat by their husbands or whose husbands treat them like crap just want to run away and have a relationship with someone who actually cares for them, how dare they!? They should spend the rest of their life trying to reform a man who has no respect for her like those of us who like to take things the hard way too.
No easy ways out, that's america!
Louise McCrea,
WOW the cool aid must be great mixed in the the Jack Daniels. Kevin John is a funny guy. Like you believe that the Republicans choose for you, you also choose to deny that a child has the right to choose too. Well If you choose for that child maybe your more Republican than you think. Keep the legs closed, the stench is unbearable.
Epic failure, Alyx. Learn to read satire. I've have to totally agree with Mason, totally beat me to the punch.
They're our fucking bodies. Don't tell me what I can and cannot do with it.
Goat approves.
RJB,
Is it Jesus who makes you talk so meanly to Louise who, after all, was her mother's choice. Or perhaps your favor only extends to the unborn and not to whores like Louise or Mary Magdelane or whatever her name was.
It's your right to do whatever you want with your vagina, not your right to do whatever you want with the child growing inside you. I think everyone would admit that drinking while pregnant is wrong, but you're argument is it's your right to do so? I think in your clearly emotional defense of abortion rights, you miss the entire controversy surrounding abortion- when does the fetus become a child? According to you it's only about you and your well used vagina, as opposed to the fundamental right to be born. Instead of ranting and raving about your vagina, why not focus on the actual issue of abortion instead of trying to paint anti-abortion proponents as wackos who want anything to do with your vagina.
Honey, This is Auntie Janie. You stay away from that kevin john, and that alyx. They didn't get the point and you will NEVER be able to change them. Now that fossheezy sounds like a NICE sensible person: you invite her to dinner next Sunday, we're havin' chicken and all the fixin's xoxoxoxox
Richard,
When it comes to a girl raped by their father who got pregnant, you would force her to live out that pregnancy even though the permenant dangers to her for being pregnant that early are VERY well documented.
When it comes to a woman going into labor who will die if they have the child, we would both commend the mother if she gave up her life for another, but you would send her to jail on a charger of murder if she picked her own life over that of another.
Sure the issue is about when life begins, but you can't ignore the rest of the issues, those that exist regardless of whether there is "life" at conception, or at birth.
Sorry for lacking lulz this time.
For the record, I got it. And, I found it to be hilarious.
Mason, I think I love you.
In a completely non-creepy/stalkerish way, of course.
Richard, you tell me when you turn into a girl and get raped and impregnated exactly what your plan of action is. Would you tell me that you would love to have the choice of having one less trauma off your back taken away?
I shouldn't talk though... I mean, I don't know you. Maybe you would choose to keep that baby. And I would commend you for that.
But think about those other girls. Think about those babies.
You think it's better for a child to have to grow up with a mother that didn't really want it in the first place?
I'm not saying that every teenage girl who made a wrong choice in the backseat of a car should go out and kill their babies. But in some situations, it's the thing that makes the most sense.
And taking away that right to choose not only hurts the mother or the parent, but it hurts the child that grows up to know that he or she wasn't really wanted.
Bottom line is, some people are going to make stupid decisions if you give them the choice. But next they'll be suggesting that we lock up every single person in America because they -might- commit a crime.
Oh well. I could go off more on my crazy rant, but I have a feeling it won't do any more good...
Is adoption a curse word these days?
If the mother's life is in danger, that's different. If she's raped, incest or otherwise, and the baby and mother will be fine, why kill it? Nobody's shackling you to the poor kid, you dump it off on another couple of suckers who really want it, rather than in a dumpster after the prom.
This post wasn't funny, this post was an excuse to act like a slut with zero consequence. Well, screw it. I support you, ladies, the looser you are, the easier it is for me to act like an asshole and still get laid.
Have another drink, broads!
Methinks the small-minded folks who Stumbled Upon this article doth profess their idiocy too loudly.
Funny, No one says you cant use your vagina how you see fit, but you typical dipshit liberal baby killing nutbaskets say it's government infringement.. It is called LIFE protection, IF you make a decision to have sex, get pregnant have to responsibility to put the kid up for adoption, it's called consequences for poor decisions. Unfortunately you idiots want everything "easy" lessons should be painful so you don't do it again.. Wimpy little freaks. Killing kids for your mistakes, no wonder this nation is headed down the tubes.. You liberal idiots, don't want to pay the price for deciding to have fun, lets just kill the kid and move on.... assholes
I don't know which comments here are satire and which aren't. I really don't. So I won't even bother to try and write logical responses to ignorant, stupid, anti-choice right-wingers and just give kudos instead to the article. I giggled.
Am I the only person who remembers the pre-Roe days? Taking away a woman's choice to have a safe, legal, abortion doesn't actually take away her right to do whatever she wants with her body. Scared, pregnant women who aren't ready to deal with what a 9 month pregnancy and baby will do to their lives are desperate, and taking away her right to a safe medical procedure will simply lead her to a backdoor abortionist or a self-abortion. Women died because of this. Women bled for days and were too afraid to go to the hospital because they might be arrested. If you take away choice, women and babies will still suffer and die. Please think about the REAL affects of taking that choice.
Prevent abortion by providing better sex education, wider and more affordable access to birth control, and the proper social services to make it easier for poor or young women to carry their babies to term and be able to support themselves and their child after birth.
As a woman who has made the decision to have an abortion, I would DARE anyone who has never had to make that CHOICE to form an opinion on the situation. You have no idea what it is like.
And before I get the "oh, you stupid whore" responses, keep in mind that you have no idea who I am, or what my situation was.
It was not an easy choice, but it was the best one, for the baby, my lover, and myself.
Abortion is not "killing a baby", it is terminating a pregnancy.
I respect those who disagree with the issue, but those who monger hate are reprehensible.