The Front Page Archive
Entries by Title
Click on an entry title below to view the full text of that entry.
- Local Middle School To Offer A Chinese Laundry Class
- Bush Named New Head Coach Of Dallas Cowboys
- A-Hole Enjoys Last Day Of 2008
- Business Of Tawking About Bad Economy Post Record Profits
- John Bender, “You Know What I Don’t Want For Christmas? Another Carton Of Smokes.”
- Bush Says Iraqi Shoes Smelled Like Flowers
- After A Disastrous 42 Years, Mike Hunt Decides To Change Name
- Blagojevich Appoints Jesus To Obama’s Senate Seat
- Boss Tells Workers, “If You Call In Gay, You Better Be Gay.”
- Rust Belt Mayor Finds New Way To Deal With Recession: Sodomy
- Psychiatrist Says Mumbai Gunman Were Not Just Terrorists But Giant A-Holes
- New Study Finds That Women Should Sleep Nude
- Local People Awed By The Jesus Turkey
- Tough Economy Forces Teen To Like, Settle For 8GB iPhone
- Gay Man Lashes Out At Prop 8 By Getting BJ Behind Dumpster
- Can Bono’s New Video Game ‘UN-Save The World’, Save The World?
- After A Priest Tells Obama Supporters, “No More Communion” Obama Tells Priest, “No More Altar Boys”
- Barack Obama Impersonator Weds Sarah Palin Impersonator
- Pew Center Study: Bush Has Blown It For C Students
- I Don’t Mind The Japanese Hunting Whales, Just As Long As I Can Hunt The Japanese
- ‘The 2008 Election Special Report’ Dubya’s Done, Nuts Are Safe And Shopping Spree Cancelled
- President-Elect Obama Hires Aaron Sorkin To Write First Term
- Levi Johnston Sends Message Of 'HELP ME!' On Early Voting Ballot
- ‘The 2008 Election Special Report’ Measure C – The Wasilla Shopping Spree
- ‘The 2008 Election Special Report’ Measure N – The Nutcracker Act
- ‘The 2008 Election' Special Report - Measure Dubya
- 8 Year-Old “Socialist” Redistributes Birthday Cake
- McCain Leaves Campaign Trail To Visit Joe The Plumber’s Grandmother
- Yo Bra, You Know What I Don’t Hear Enough From Politicians? The Word ‘Awesome’
- Sarah Palin Is Right, I Do Not Need The Right To Choose
- As World Economy Tanks, Hell Dreads Arrival Of The Newly Damned
- Cock Ring Looks For Second Career
- Reba And Others Tell Palin, “Stop Stealing Our Act!”
- Mayor In Russia Says He Can See Sarah Palin Showering From His House
- Homeless Man Can’t Wait For Bailout To Trickle Down To Him By 2019
- Kansas City Man Offers Women Stimulus Package Of His Own
- Bush Triple-Dog Dares The Economy To Fail
- Maverick Husband Won’t Let Wife Drive
- Undecided Man Can’t Choose Between Eggplant Or Aged Irish Cheddar Pizza
- Local Woman Says 'Thanks But No Thanks' To Bridge To Boyfriend’s Junk
- Awards 2.0
- President Bush Tells American People, “Don’t Worry, I’m Okay”
- McCain Campaign Claims He Helped Create Gravity
- Sure It's Okay For A Man To Cry, Tinkerbell
- Premio 2008 Award
- ABC Source Says, Charlie Gibson Cleaned His Pipes Before Sarah Palin Interview
- If I Can Have Rumpy-Pumpy, So Can You!
- Cheney On Palin, “That B*#ch Scares ME.”
- Jesus Endorses Libertarian Bob Barr For President…McCain and Obama Say WTF?
- Thanks To Rudy, Romney And Palin, Al Qaeda Sets One Night Fundraising Record
- John Edwards, “I’m Not The Father Of Sarah Palin’s Future Grandkid.”
- Iraqi Government Offers To Send U.S. Army National Guard To Help U.S. With Hurricane
- 20 Years Later, Jack Walsh’s Diner Is Very Popular With The Chicago Police Department
- You Say Global Warming, And I Say Global Schwarming!
- Please, Let Me Die!
- Want To Defeat Islamic Radicalism? Enforce Sharia Law
- Bush: You Broke My Heart Vlady, You Broke My Heart
- Everyone Must Be Fabulous!
- Yo Bras…I Can’t Believe I’m Never Again Going To Be Able To Say… Yo Bra I Am So Baked We Gotta Hit BENNIGAN’S
- I'm The One Your Mother Warned You About
- McCain Stumbles Upon 2 Girls 1 Cup…And Suggests Wife For Sequel
- Obama Goes Hefty To Win Hillary’s Blue-Collar Voters
- 5 Year-Old On The Path To Becoming A Blowhard
- McCain Campaign Claims Obama Is Responsible For ED
- Man Divorces Wife After She Flip-Flops On Oral Sex
- Another Award!
- I Promise That I Will Be Ready To Lead On Day 1 Thru Day 2922…Why? Because Black Don’t Crack – Barack Obama
- Sudan’s Bashir Indicts The Writers Of Grey’s Anatomy
- Award Season In July
- Local Anchorwoman Nails Segue From AIDS To Brangelina
- Stand Aside America, There’s A New Superpower In Town…Belgium!
- Study Reveals More Sex For 70-Year Olds Leads To More Nausea For 17-Year Olds
- Cheney Pushes New Energy Plan: Jurassic Energy
- Area Man Vows To Win This Year’s Roman-Candle Fight
- Man Relishes His Smallness
- 20th Century Found To Be Good For Whites!
- Opponent Of Gay Marriage Admits He Really Doesn’t Have Anything Better To Do
- Russert Nails God During A Heavenly Meet The Press
- To Ease Energy Concerns, President Bush Calls For Offshore Oil Drilling And The Degreasing Of Sha Na Na
- I Can’t Wait To Have A Well Informed Citizenry - John Adams
- New Restaurant ‘BLTs R US’ Hit Hard By Tomato Recall
- NAMBLA Endorses McCain, Asks Boyish Obama Out For Ice Cream
- Couple Goes Green By Recycling Their Marriage Vows
- After A Long Democratic Courtship, Barack Obama Registers At BED BATH & BEYOND
- Dick Cheney's Former Press Secretaries Go Missing, “Kooky,” says VP
- Hillary’s New New Math: “Constitution Says, Votes Cast For Obama Worth Only 3/5th A Vote.”
- Congress Declares Massive Oil Profits To Be Obscene But Oral Sex In Public To Be Okay
- Gay Baby Looking Forward To Gay Marriage
- An Open Letter From Shelly Long To Hillary Clinton, “Stay Where Everybody Knows Your Name.”
- President Bush Accidentally Marries Jenna’s Fiancé Henry Hager
- Philly Police Defend Suspect Beatings, "It’s OK, They Were Dallas Cowboys Fans"
- Ted Danson (In Blackface) Gets Ass Kicked On The Way To Obama Victory Party
- Reverend Wright To Write Book Titled, How I Torpedoed Obama’s Campaign So I Could Write Book Titled, How Obama Torpedoed Black America’s Run For The White House
- Kid Spies, Newest Weapon Against Al Qaeda, Iran And Billionaire Madmen
- Texas Polygamists Apologize For The 31 Out Of 53 Pregnant Teen Girls, “It Should Be 53 Out Of 53.”
- Clinton Accuses Obama Of Sitting Down To Pee
- President Bush Triumphant After Completing New York Times Crossword Puzzle
- Latino Man Can’t Help Himself From Reinforcing Stereotype
- RED STATE - BLUE STATE: If We’re Going To Be In Iraq For 100 Years, How Many T.G.I. Friday’s Should We Build?
- Economy On The Rebound As Fumunda Cheese Exports Rise
- Self-Proclaimed Human Torch Becomes Human Ashtray
Entries by Month
Click on a month below to view a list of articles published during that month.
- January 2009 (2)
- December 2008 (10)
- November 2008 (11)
- October 2008 (12)
- September 2008 (16)
- August 2008 (11)
- July 2008 (12)
- June 2008 (10)
- May 2008 (10)
- April 2008 (4)
- March 2008 (2)
- April 2007 (1)