RED STATE

This is an interesting question because when I was younger I always thought singing cowboy Rex O'Herlihan was a sure bet to defeat communism. While attending Fargo-Moorhead University I even petitioned the state department to fire off handsome actor Henry Silva into Nam for some rice-eater Butt-Kicking! So of course I would support the Chuck Norris WMD.

Chuck Norris is certainly up to the task. He's already proven he can effectively kill any number of angry minorities with anti-western agendas. Using Chinese voodoo arts, or whatever it's called, in tandem with guns, tanks, flaming vision and beard power, Chuck would make this God loved nation he first Super...Duper Power!

Is there a downside to stationing Chuck Norris around the country as a visible threat to our aggressors? In the unlikely incident that we'd have to unleash a Chuck barrage, we would expose ourselves to his unpredictable temper. His Titan like destructive power is such that perhaps he could eliminate our own government. And we'd have to let him because once it gains momentum nothing, nothing can stop a Chuck Norris.

But I have faith we'd never have to use our beloved and feared Chuck. His threat is so great that no one would ever dream about attacking the USA. Because that would mean the end of the world as we know it, and the beginning of Chucktopia. Chuck help us.

BLUE STATE

Chuck Norris is already a weapon of mass destruction. He's a white male isn't he? But seeing no other viable options (Vin Diesel? Please) Let's do it. Let's take that archaic machismo of the Reagan era and make it our national arsenal.

Anyone with a pulse and access to CBS, knows that Mr. Norris would have no problem performing the role of our entire military complex. In fact with a Chuck Norris, we could drastically cut the Defense Budget and put that money to better uses like developing a hydrogen car, build more parks, women's shelters and schools. In fact we could institute a myriad of social programs that would enable us to eliminate the lower class completely.

So bring out the Chuck Norris out-of-date brand of groin punching. And let is serve as a warning to the corporate pirates, fascists and SUV drivers. A non denominational and all loving God willing, Chuck's visage of beards and boots will be the wake up call this world needs to embrace our differences, throw down our high-octane blood lust, and interlock our wallets for the greatest accessory of them all...a handbag made of peace and love.

And if you have any doubt, let's not forget that much more than the 'fictional' Superman, Chuck Norris stands for Truth, Justice and the American Way. Not to mention that he makes me weak at the knees. Chuck, if your reading this, call me...214-555-8893. I used to be a gymnast. :)