BLUE STATE 

Would you mind if I went first? 

RED STATE

My mom always told me that liberals go first.  

BLUE STATE 

Thanks.

The time for this government to address this issue is long long overdue. Is anybody aware that over 50 slippery kids die every year from falling through the grossly oversized leg holes in shopping carts? Maybe I'm crazy, but that fact that most of those 50 live in Blue States might have something to do with Bush turning a blind eye. I just think that the President should stop killing these kids, because that's what he's doing by doing nothing, he's killing them.

I'm sorry but this issue really hits close to home. On April 21, 2005 my twin boys, Heath and Hunter, were the victims of oversized leg holes. While I was walking through the organic fruit section, the boys slipped thru and landed on a rotten pile of pesticide corporate-grown tomatoes. Though they survived, they've never been the same. They can't see a shopping cart without screaming and scrambling for cover. How are they supposed to grow-up and be productive citizens without help from the government? They're going to need millions in aid.

Join with me to demand seat belts for grocery carts, now! All we have to do is raise taxes on the rich, cut defense spending, and tax the rich some more to cover the costs!....Thank you.

RED STATE

I don't see how this is a real problem. Why does the government have to get in everywhere? Aren't we free? Isn't this every parent's choice whether they want to put their kids in a grocery cart or leave them in the car? Or, why can't people just leave their kids at home with the nanny? It's pretty simple. Quit blaming Bush for everything bad that happens in this country! It's not his fault. It's Satan's. Now if you really want to protect those 50 kids a year, you should get on your knees and pray for their souls; so that when they fall and split open their little melons, they'll go to Heaven.

Also on a constitutional note, this is not a problem for the federal government. This is a local problem, and every community should decide what they want to do. But I think everyone should do what I proposed in my own community. I proposed that my church pay for optional safety straps for the grocery carts in exchange for the children pledging to attend 400 hours of Sunday school and/or church services. This seems like a complete win-win for everyone. The godless liberals get their safety straps and we get to keep the next generation of children from eternal fire and damnation.

Who's with me? Let us pray.