(New York, NY) Dwight Hollister has had some bad days in his 52 years on this Earth. But there are two days that stick out as particularly bad. First was July 2nd, 1964, and second was July 4th, 1997.

“July 2nd, 1964 was when that son-of-a-bitch (President) Johnson signed the goddam Civil Rights Act into law and ruined this country,” signed Dwight. “July 4th, 1997 was the day I last heard Lee Greenwood’s ode to patriotism Proud To Be An American.”

That day Dwight lost his hearing when two faulty M80s (that according to Dwight were made by some militant blacks) exploded near his ears, shattering his eardrums.

However, neither of those days prepared Hollister for what would happen on March 17th, 2008. Not only did Dwight see some black guys drinking green beer, but he also witnessed the swearing in of New York’s 55th Governor, David Paterson, a blind black guy.

“I’m too depressed to sign about it,” signed Hollister. “It’s bad enough that Spitzer was a Jew, but a black and blind Governor? What the fuck? And besides, he’s not better than me. I’m white, and I can sign in three languages. He can’t even see in one!”

Dwight added that with a black Governor and possible black President, it seems like that his life's work to keep whites on top might have been a waste. "Maybe it's time to hang up these old racist shoes."
 
Governor Paterson said Hollister can't give up. “I didn't get where I am today by throwing in the towel whenever things got tough buddy. You need to get back on that horse Dwight Hollister, and ride after your dream."

Hollister said he's going to take the Governor's words to heart."I've got a great idea...How about we give Paterson 40 acres and a seeing-eye dog and send him packing? Good. Right?"