Hello folks. I apologize for being away, but I've been working on a book about my two favorite pastimes, fingerbanging and bird-watching.

Today I thought that I would answer a few of your questions. 

 Niles,

My friends and I were arguing about this yesterday. Is it okay to fingerbang a woman while she's sleeping?

 Joe G., New Jersey

 Joe,

It is okay, only if you are married to the woman, or you know her first name, last name and her mother's maiden name.

Niles,

I lost my main fingerbanging (middle) finger in an accident with a hacksaw. Luckily for me, I was born with six toes. I had my longest toe attached to my hand. Now, if I fingerbang my wife with my toe/finger is that still technically fingerbanging or is that a new type of sexual activity?

 Kenneth H., Ohio

Kenneth,

First, good for you for not giving up. You're an inspiration. But technically what you are doing is just good old fashion fingerbanging, which is not too bad. Is it?

Niles,

Spring Break is next week. My buddies and I are going to Florida, and I'm sure there will be a lot of fingerbanging opportunities. I always have clean hands and short nails. What else can I do to give me the fingerbanging edge?

Trip D., Texas

Trip,

Kudos for the clean hands and short nails. You're already ahead of the game. The only edge you might lack is technique. Even though it takes years to become a master, there are few techniques that might work for you. 1-The Hitchhiker, where you use only your thumbs or 2- The Bishop, where you hold your hands together as in prayer. As always use caution and lube if necessary, and be careful of the sand. Good luck.

That's all for today. I'll be back soon with more tips. Until then keep your hands clean and happy fingerbanging. 

 Niles Crawford III