(Burbank, CA) With declining ratings and stale programming, because of a prolonged writer’s strike, the major television networks are scrambling to find new content. CBS, ABC and FOX are relying on a mixture of reality, canned series and repurposed cable shows to fill the void, but NBC thinks they might have trumped them all. 
(Los Angeles, CA) Last night there wasn’t a bruised eye in the house, city or state as thousands of proponents and providers of domestic violence took the night off to pay homage to one of their icons, Ike Turner. Turner, of beating the living hell out of Tina Turner fame, died at his San Marcos home yesterday at the age of 76.
(New Orleans, LA) September 2005, hurricane Katrina devastated the city of New Orleans. December 2007, not much has been rebuilt, and actor turned activist Brad Pitt is determined to do something about it. 
(Thousand Oaks, Ca) After months of deliberating, part-time economics teacher, Alice Cahill, the last known Air Supply fan, has decided to call it quits. "It's hard, but it's really for the best." said a somber Alice, as she put the Air Supply album Yours Truly into a time capsule. "Maybe future generations will rediscover and love the Supply, but I can't do it anymore." Why?
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(Philadelpia, PA) 18 year-old Mary Chaffin is a big fan of the movie SAW and it’s two sequels, but she is not looking forward to the fourth installment. Her boyfriend, 18 year-old Seth Hamer, whom she loves dearly and hopes one day to marry, is why. 
(New York, NY) The big TODAY Show Presents A Martha Stewart Wedding has been creating buzz for months. The lucky couple, Cody and Jessica, who were chosen by The TODAY Show’s audience, are preparing to walk down the aisle this Friday. And they are ecstatic about starting their lives together, or at least they were.]]>
(Las Vegas, NV) O. J. Simpson has found himself in trouble again. Over the weekend Simpson allegedly broke into a room at the palatial Palace Station hotel and took some of his own sports memorabilia at gunpoint. And like that whole ‘Nicole and Ron thing’ O.J. says he’s the victim. “Those guys stole from me first man!” 
(Los Angeles, CA) After her uneven performance at Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards, pop diva Britney Spears has had a hard time getting anyone to return her calls or text messages. Anyone but her long time closeted fan, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. “I thought she was great, just great…The slow deliberate moves, the hazy, full of Allah look and that ripe healthy figure…she was perfection.”]]>
Tommy Dempsy Comedy. It’s a wonderful but hard business that I’ve been blessed to work in for over 40 years. But as my mentor, Cy Goldman told me in 1965, “Tommy, when the fart jokes are no longer funny, it’s time to walk away.”
Well folks, the fart jokes are no longer funny, and neither are the Jew jokes, the black jokes or the Holocaust jokes.
(Los Angeles, CA) Yesterday, millions of devotees got their answer to the question: when will Lindsay Lohan fall off that wagon? Early Tuesday morning Ms. Lohan, 21, was arrested in Santa Monica on suspicion of driving under the influence. Also early Tuesday Jesus Christ, the Son of God, returned to establish his Father’s Kingdom on Earth. But no one seemed to notice.]]>