(Los Angeles, CA) After her uneven performance at Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards, pop diva Britney Spears has had a hard time getting anyone to return her calls or text messages. Anyone but her long time closeted fan, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. “I thought she was great, just great…The slow deliberate moves, the hazy, full of Allah look and that ripe healthy figure…she was perfection.”

Despite the praise, Britney and her people aren’t letting the Iranian President’s words go to her head. “While I won’t say, I was perfect Sunday night,” said Spears to Ahmadinejad over her iPhone “I will give myself a 9 out of 11.”

“I’ll give her an 11 out of 11,” said Secretary of State of Condoleezza Rice.  “She is the first American to have one on one talks with the Iranian leader since Mike Wallace. This is quite an opportunity for us and for her to serve her country."

Britney has accepted the challenge and is determined to normalize relations between the United States and Iran. “This will be easy, because we have so much in common. Did you know that Mahmoud and I are the same height and have the same shoe size?” said Spears while standing next to Secretary Rice. “Well, I thought it was neat. But you should also know that President Ahmadinejad and I are not big fans of radical Islamic terrorists. We both would like to see a stable Iraq, and neither of us would like to see Hilary in the White House.”

Critics of Britney and the Bush administration are holding their tongues until Spears has a solid chance to prove herself a successful diplomat. “I say we give her a break,” said American Idol host and amateur Iranian scholar Ryan Seacrest. “Besides she can’t do any worse than Sunday's performance.”

“Ryan's right. But I’m going to nail this Iran thing, then everyone will return my calls, because they'll respect me just like I respect Islam,” said Britney. “Hey, check out my new tattoo of Muhammad on my butt. Cool huh?”