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    Wednesday
    13Jan2010

    Sarah Palin Signs TV Contract With Fox News, But Promises To Quit Halfway Through

    This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.(New York, NY) This week conservative megastar Sarah Palin signed a multi-year deal to appear on Fox News as a political consultant. Soon  after, the Joe and Jane Six-Packs of America were worried that being on cable TV might change their beloved hockey mom. Today Palin let them know that she will always be their little maverick.

    Reading from a partially prepared statement the former Alaska Governor said that even though she’s only been at Fox News for a few days, she loves it. She loves the people, the fair and balanced message and the 10% off she gets on Bill O’Reilly’s Factor Gear. “But one day, probably about two years and seven months from now, I will decide to not quite quit, but instead resign, from Fox News."

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    Tuesday
    29Sep2009

    Afghan People Say If Americans Don’t Want The Public Option...They’ll Take It

    (Afghanistan & Washington D.C.) President Obama and his advisors are considering sending more troops into Afghanistan. However, the Afghan people have a message for them.

    Keep your troops. Send us the public option.

    “We’re not kidding,” said Fareed Abdullah, a local schoolteacher.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    08Sep2009

    Obama Comes Clean On Healthcare “We Don’t Want To Kill Grandma, We Want To Date Grandma”

    (Washington D.C.) Yesterday, in advance of President Obama’s health care address to a joint session of Congress, the White House released the text of his speech. One paragraph involving the controversial death panels has caught the attention of the nation.

    My fellow Americans, let me make this clear, the federal government does not want to kill your grandma. There will be no death panels for her….But make no mistake, there will be death panels for your grandpa. We, the government, want to get rid of that tired old man, so that we can date your grandma. Because let’s face facts, she’s still got some tread on that booty, and we want to drive that booty all the way to funky town.

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    Tuesday
    28Jul2009

    GOP Plans To Fix Obesity And Healthcare With "The 20 Ounce Pound"

    (Washington D.C.) For months we have been hearing that obesity along with a broken healthcare system are major threats to America’s economic survival. After months of saying NO to all of President Obama’s proposed solutions, today, the GOP released their plan.

    It’s a plan that in the words of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, “will revolutionize the weigh Americans live”.

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    Tuesday
    14Jul2009

    Man Booted From Facebook For Giving TLI (Too Little Information)

    (New York, NY) Last Sunday at 4:13 PM Jim Decker updated his Facebook status…Just walked past pizza place…Just ten minutes later at 4:23, that same afternoon, Decker’s Facebook account was cancelled.

    Why?

    “Mr. Decker was booted because of TLI (Too Little Information),” said Facebook’s Director of Membership Matt Portnoy. “He had been warned to provide more details in his status updates and comments. He didn’t. So he’s gone.”

    Gregory Harris, a Sociology Professor at Hunter College and an expert on social networking web sites, is not surprised by Facebook’s actions.

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